"Can't a man even clean up his work area without inadvertently conjuring up a pack of lightning-breathing ocelots?"

My friend Laura just sent me the best article from The Onion. Yes, of course it's a spoof -- it is from The Onion. For an archaeology geek, like me, though, it's priceless.

Archaeologist Tired Of Unearthing Unspeakable Ancient Evils